Home > Rabbi Werbin > Kol Nidre 5776
October 8, 2015
A couple of weeks ago my wife went to work out and do the most common, the most known, the most amazing and exciting American sport: she went shopping.
She came back home, exhausted after a really extreme work out that included Target, Macy’s TJ Maxx, etc, etc and she shows me the new table cloth she bought.
Very nice I said. Let’s try it.
We opened it, extended it on the table and we started pulling one from each other side of the table trying to reach the edge.
As you can imagine… The table cloth was short…
Needless to say that she had to go back to return it and took advantage of another extreme work out at TJ Maxx.
As you know I always respond to that with some sense of you humor so I said to Patricia: I have a joke for you.
What did the tablecloth say to the table? Don’t move I’ve got you covered.
Well it is not always true.
Life, said Rabbi Salanter, is a short tablecloth. Whichever way you pull, something will be uncovered. Choose wisely what to leave undone.
During the last two years I decided to cover part of my personal table and asked for help.
In my personal life it is not the first time I have seen a counselor, I am married to one in case you didn’t know it. Now I hope you understand part of my Mishigas. Well if you knew my Jewish mother you would have understood it better.
I think in some point counseling helps a lot.
This year I learned during my counseling session about a theory called fight or flight response.
I am sure you heard about it.
This is a theory that states that animals react to threats with a general discharge of the sympathetic nervous system, priming the animal for fighting or fleeing.
Animals respond to threats in many complex ways. Rats, for instance, try to escape when threatened, but will fight when cornered. Some animals stand perfectly still so that predators will not see them. Many animals freeze or play dead when touched in the hope that the predator will lose interest.
This reaction also takes place among human beings.
In the human fight or flight response in prehistoric times, fight was manifested in aggressive, combative behavior and flight was manifested by fleeing potentially threatening situations, such as being confronted by a predator.
In current times, these responses persist, but fight and flight responses have assumed a wider range of behaviors. For example, the fight response may be manifested in angry, argumentative behavior, and the flight response may be manifested through social withdrawal, substance abuse, and even television viewing.
To make a long story short nowadays most of the time when the fight or flight response is triggered it is a false alarm – there is no threat to survival. The part of the brain the initiates the automatic part of the fight or flight response, the amygdala, cannot distinguish between a real threat and a perceived threat.
And here is when we get stressed.
There is no real threat but we are still paralyzed. There is no danger but we still stop doing what we should be doing.
Why Am I telling you all this today? Because tonight is the night of Kol Nidre. The night when we review what part of our tables we leave uncovered.
I tell you this because I strongly believe that we all have uncovered parts in our tables.
We all leave parts of the table uncovered.
How many of you have decided to postpone the time you dedicate to your family for more important or more immediate things?
You were able to pay your kids college and help them to get their degrees, was that enough? Are you sure? Are you done now?
Are you going to leave your tablecloth as it is?
Do not think I am an exception.
I also cannot cover the whole table with my own tablecloth. Just like you.
When my mother fell ill before she passed away 14 months ago, I was in the US and she was in Argentina.
I wish I could have been there. To hug her. To kiss her. But I couldn’t. My tablecloth was short.
I am not an exception. My table cloth as well as yours is short.
When I see brothers and sisters meeting each other in front of the grave of their parents after not talking one to the other for years… I think: why did you wait until this moment to cover this side of the table?
When I hear people saying I will wait until yom kippur to apologize or to do a real balance and I think: what are you waiting for?
When I see couples struggling without making the right decision for their lives, I think how short our tablecloth is.
How much are we going to wait until we pull the table cloth in the right direction?
Life, said Rabbi Salanter, is a short tablecloth. Whichever way you pull, something will be uncovered.
Tonight, the most sacred night of our calendar I want to ask you: how are we going to react? Are we going to fight or we are going flee? Are we going to leave the tablecloth as it is or we are going to rearrange it?
Are we going to stay in our comfortable status quo? Or we can say there are things I’ll have to give up for a holy purpose?
Moses was a great example for all of us.
Look at him. He couldn’t cover all the basis.
If we think of Moses for an instance what would be the first image that comes to your mind?
Exactly, a shepherd who walks in the dessert helped by his staff.
According to the Midrash Moses’ staff belonged to Adam the 1st man. Another midrash says that it was planted in the backyard of Jethro Moses’ father in law.
(Yesro) Jetro challenged anyone who would be able to pull it out and he would give that man his daughter. Moses pulled the staff and got Tziporah.
A third midrash says that the name of G-d was engraved on the staff.
All his life Moses walked through the dessert with his staff. In the burning bush his staff becomes a snake. The staff opens the red sea. The staff transforms the bitter water into sweet water.
Moses walks with his staff. It is his support. It is Moses and his staff.
And here we are in front of Mount Sinai and Moses ascends to receive the Torah. Can you see that image? And G-d gives him the tablets and he returns with the tablets. So the question is: where is his staff? How he could go up and down at age 80 without his staff?
There is no third had to hold the staff.
Moshe rabeinu teaches us that there moments in life when we need to give up even our most important support to accomplish other goals.
You want to achieve peace, you need to give something up.
You want to save your marriage, you need to give something up.
You want to see your kids growing, you need to something give up.
Not all the table can be covered. You cannot hold the tablets and the staff.
Tonight, going back to the beginning of my sermon, the question is: are we ready to fight? Are we going to accept the challenge? Are you ready to re accommodate your tablecloth?
Life, said Rabbi Salanter, is a short tablecloth. Whichever way you pull something will be uncovered. Choose wisely what to leave undone. Think very carefully how you are going to re arrange your table.
The following story is told by Rabbi Gerald Wolpe ZL.
He says: Recently, I heard of a Jewish public speaker who travels to a number of cities to speak about Jewish education. He engages the parents in an interesting exercise.
Let me do the exercise with you.
“How many of you expect your children to become professional ball players?”
Very few raise their hands.
“How many of you expect your children to become professional dancers or musicians?” Very few raise their hands.
“How many of you expect your children to remain Jews?” The hands go up throughout the hall.
Life, said Rabbi Salanter, is a short tablecloth. Whichever way you pull something will be uncovered. Whichever way you pull, another part is exposed. Choose wisely what to leave undone.
What are we choosing for our future?
Are we sure that covering all the bases is what we want?
Are the parts that we left uncovered the right ones?
Are we working according to what the Jewish people expects from us? Or we are thinking we can be baseball, soccer or basketball players better than lovely Jews?
Tonight we have the opportunity to move the table cloth and make the change.
Tonight we can think again about our priorities. Tonight is the night when we decide to make changes in our lives, in our tablecloths.
Speaking of changes one more story.
Isaac, an elderly, very thin looking man, sees an ad in a Haifa newspaper:
EXPERIENCED LUMBERJACK REQUIRED IN HAIFA
So he applies for the job and a week later he is asked to attend an interview in Haifa with the foreman.
During his interview, the foreman says to Isaac, “I can’t help but notice your age and your body build. Are you sure you’re a lumberjack?”
“Yes, of course I am. Would I have applied if I wasn’t?”
So the foreman gives Isaac an axe, takes him outside, points to a sapling growing near them and says to Isaac, “OK then, lets see you chop this down.”
Isaac walks over to the sapling and with one blow of the axe chops it down.
The foreman then points out a larger tree and says, “try this one, then.”
Again, Isaac walks over to the tree and cuts it down effortlessly with one blow of the (ax) axe.
The foreman is amazed, but tries one more time. Pointing this time to a really large tree with a thick trunk, he says to Isaac, “OK, try this one then if you can.”
Isaac walks over to the tree, takes a deep breath, swings his axe and with one swoop, the large tree comes crashing down.
“I can’t believe what I’ve just seen you do,” says the foreman. “You’re fantastic. Where did you learn to be such a great lumberjack?”
“Well if you must know,” replies Isaac, “I worked in the Sahara Park for a long time.”
“Don’t you mean the Sahara Desert?” asks the foreman.
“NOW it’s a desert,” replies Isaac.
Isaac the lumberjack made the change, with his hands.
You can make the change with your souls and with your hands.
I want you to do an exercise with me.
Look at your hands. Please look at them. Turn your hands over, Notice the wrinkles on your knuckles, the lines on your palms, the fragility of your nails.
When was the last time you looked at your hands? Notice the veins, notice how it feels when you flex and un flex each individual finger. Notice how it feels when you make a fist. Look at your hands, and remember how small they once were, how you once had fat little fingers as a baby, and now are a grown adult.
Look at your hands again, and think about the things you have done, and the great things that you want to do.
But you are waiting.
Feel your personal strength as you look at your hands, and realize that this is what you have. Your hands are a symbol of you, of your life: of what you have done, and what you can do. You are capable of such great things. With your hands you can build you can create you can destroy and you can love. Recognize the power you have.
Looking at my hands is a powerful reminder for me that I am aging, that I am mortal, that one day my time here will be over – and at the same time, that I am capable of shaping my world in whatever way I choose. And so are you.
So please, do not wait until tomorrow. Do not flee. Please stay and fight.
Tonight go home and do not set the table for a dinner, but rearrange your tablecloth with your hands and with your souls, for you, for us and for the benefit of the people of Israel.
